Overcoming 2020 – I’m back, bitches!
Overcoming 2020 – I’m back, bitches!

*This is one of the more personal posts I have put out there. With a year off from writing, I feel that I would be doing an injustice by not explaining why I have been MIA.

It’s hard to feel inspired to write blogs on positivity when you’ve lived through a year like 2020.

Coronavirus infiltrated our lives like a terrible ex that just won’t go away.

Social injustices and political divisions drove the U.S. to new levels of outrage.

And state lockdowns, closed borders, job losses, and lack of social interaction has pushed so many of us to our breaking points.

In America at least, everyone has experienced a major downward shift.

But on top of the mess that was last year, I had my own personal struggles to deal with.

I left my dream life working as a tour guide in Australia behind, and moved back in at home.

I then got an apartment with my boyfriend, only to go through an extremely messy breakup.

I had a close friend throw our friendship to the wayside for reasons I still do not understand.

For months I was jobless, then found myself working at a bar.

I was spending all my free time and extra money partying with all my new bar friends.

And I have struggled with issues of motivation, self-control, and loneliness.

I guess you could say that my life had changed fucking drastically.

The 2020 I had envisioned for myself when that ball dropped had transformed into a world I was not prepared for.

And for someone who writes for the joy of writing (while hoping to inspire maybe just one person), I haven’t had an ounce of positivity in me to share with the world.

But now I do.

Anyone with half a brain can see why someone dealing with all these changes would enjoy the bar scene.

I went from living the dream life of freedom and constant highs, to being locked down back at home while the world around me seemed to be burning in the flames.

The abrupt shift from an expat life to a life with such isolation, loss, stress, and limited outlets for fun, was devastating.

I don’t blame myself for getting lost in all the dancing, music, fun, and new people I was meeting at the bars.

I know I can go out on any given night and feel welcomed by bar staff and regulars alike.

There is a weird sense of community there.

I guess you could even say the bar scene was partially filling up the missing parts of me I had lost over the past year.

But a few weeks ago, I took a good, hard look at my life and asked myself an honest question.

"What the hell are you doing?"

I had lost total focus of what’s really important to me. I had stopped working on my goals, passions, and creative outlets that make me feel whole.

I have spent an outrageous amount of time and money doing something I thought was making me happy but was really taking away valuable hours I could have spent on other passions.

For months I have neglected to take care of myself in the ways I knew that I needed.

But I finally feel that I am back on track.

It’s definitely hard to look back and know you’re not in the place that you want to be, but it’s crucial to growth and self-improvement.

I’m not harsh with myself – I have clearly had many circumstances that led me down a road of going out 5/6 nights a week, blowing more money than I’d care to share at the beach bars.

So, I’m giving myself a damn break.

Everyone deals with things differently. But being honest with yourself is the first step towards progress. 

It is time to stop using the last year as an excuse for my actions. It’s time to get refocused.

No more blaming 2020.

I have had enough time to heal from the past and accept the new changes in my life.

I need to remember who I was before all this, what my goals are, and who I want to be.

And I hope these words find one person who needs a little help refocusing too.

2021 is all about weaving through all the bullshit, to find the good.

Let’s look at this year as a great opportunity to jump-start our future endeavors.

Is your state still in lock down?

Use this new free time to do some soul searching.

Take a nature walk or sit by the beach for an hour. Take an honest look at where you are at and what you want in your life.

The beach is what helped me.

What habits can you change?

What new habits and daily routines can you start?

Get a plan of action together.

It’s not about judging where you are. It is about doing anything you can to feel better about yourself and leave this past year behind you.

COVID-19 has eliminated so many activities for us to do in our free time, so there is no more excuse that you don’t have enough time in the day.

Now is the perfect time to focus on getting yourself where you want to be. That way when things do get back to normal, you are ready to hit the ground running.

Don’t beat yourself up for anything you consider a shortcoming. If there is something you know you should be doing, then start taking steps every day to be better.

Set reminders on your phone.

Schedule things on a calendar.

Set aside an hour a day to work on your goals.

Whatever it is, just start making yourself more of a priority.

You will never be able to give anything valuable to the world if you don’t take care of yourself first.

We should all just agree that last year was a fluke and give ourselves a damn break already.

No one was prepared for Covid-19. And everyone’s reactions were different.

Let go of whatever you did, didn’t do, or could have done last year.

All we can do now is focus on the future and what we can currently control.

I’m personally exhausted of using Coronavirus as an excuse for slacking off and falling into a lifestyle that isn’t congruent with my true self.

I refuse to lose sight of who I really am amidst the turmoil and smoke all around me.

It took me a while to get back to me, but a while is better than being stuck forever. You can always start over.

I’ve taken a good, hard look at my decisions over the past year.

There are many I am proud of and others that I’m not.

But once you know where you are at, you can always change where you are headed.

This year I am determined to bring myself back into the world of positivity, proactivity, inspiration, and happiness.

I challenge you to start truly putting yourself first and let go of the bullshit year we just suffered through.

If I can crawl out of the flames, so can you.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. My girl, this is amazing !!! Thank you for your vulnerability.

  2. You are an incredible lady, dancer, spirit animal and writer. So glad we became friends. Rock on, sister.

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