I have always had a problem with being too nice.
Everyone in my life has told me that I apologize too much.
I constantly go out of my way to make sure I’m not coming across as a bitch, because I don’t like causing others hurt or anger.
So, I give niceties to everyone; family, close friends, acquaintances, regulars at my bar, boys I occasionally talk to, and even people I’ve had a falling out with and don’t even like.
But all too often that kind energy isn’t reciprocated.
People you have deep, trusting relationships with deserve some slack from time to time. But anyone not in that category is a different story.
Unfortunately, I’m guilty of giving too many chances to these exact people.
There are so many people in my life that only respond to messages when it benefits them, hit me up because they want something, constantly show me disrespect, act extremely interested in hanging out in person but never reach out, and others that go completely ghost when the last time we had hung out things were great.
These people are present in my life on the surface, only there when it fits into their schedule or mood.
I’m sure you’ve all experienced these interactions.
It’s the game of texting tag, or the ambiguous but obvious blow-off text. The person who is only there when it’s convenient. That guy who suddenly went MIA but pops back up occasionally. The flaky friend. The friend that never gives you the energy you give them.
These people can be so charismatic and manipulative in person, that you genuinely think they are someone you can trust.
You even start to believe the excuses they make for their shitty behavior.
“Oh, I know they’re just busy.”
“Well, they didn’t know how I was feeling before, so now that we’ve talked, I know it’ll be different.”
“I know they’re going through a lot, so I’ll keep doing my part to be here and eventually things will get better.”
But you know how often people change and things get better?
In these scenarios I always second guess what could have gone wrong. What could I have done to make this person treat me with this way?
I don’t want to be the reason things aren’t how they were before. I don’t want to be the bad guy.
So I tend to stick around.
People can treat me however they want, and I will still show up and be the bigger person – even if I’m upset with them.
I constantly sacrifice my boundaries and self-respect because I’d rather not be seen as the “bitch” that disappeared or stood up for herself.
And I’m so fucking done with this idiotic logic.
I’m realizing that deep down these people are not genuinely interested in my well-being.
They’re not trying to get to know me on a real level. They’ve never gone out of their way to show me they can be counted on. They’ve never built any trust in my emotional bank account.
So why do I care what they think of me? Why do I care if they see me as the bad guy?
We all live in our own little worlds anyway and think mostly about ourselves.
People make decisions because of them. They don’t make decisions because of me.
So why am I adjusting my behavior to accommodate them? Why can’t I put my boundaries first for once?
It’s exhausting. And I’m officially done with it.
So, if anyone out there is dealing with someone like this, please do me a favor...
STOP putting any more energy into these toxic, immature, and thoughtless people.
Recognize the signs early.
If certain relationships in your life constantly feel one sided, then end them.
If you are seeing red flags and game play well before you’ve established any type of concrete friendship or trust between the two of you, then let them go. It’s most likely going to continue at your expense.
If you have tried multiple times to mend an issue with someone without being shown that same effort back, boy byeee.
If he’s not texting you, he’s not interested. Stop making excuses to justify it. Don’t chase him.
Because communicating with the right people is easy.
I feel like so many of us are constantly trying to put square pegs in round holes, each time justifying how someday they’ll fit.
And they just won’t.
So if everyone else gets to put themselves first, then so do you.
No more entertaining, chasing, or putting any effort into people that don’t put an ounce of effort into us.
You have to protect your sanity and boundaries otherwise you’ll always feel let down by people who haven’t earned the ability to let you down.
If they don’t respect you enough to treat you with common decency, let that negative energy out of your life. You don’t need it.
We have to start radiating the energy we want, so we can attract what is truly ours.
And that means showing the universe you can cut out toxic people too.
If anything here resonates with you, please start distancing yourself from these negative people in your life. Do it for your emotional well-being.
Don’t spend time wondering why things didn’t work out or how people can treat others the way they do. You’ll drive yourself crazy.
If they don’t hold you to the same standard that you held them, do you really want to be close with them anyway? Is that a quality person? No.
That’s precious time and energy wasted.
I’m done chasing things that aren’t meant for me.
No more putting up with people that blatantly treat me with disrespect.
No more being available for people that should have lost that privilege a while ago.
And I’m done trying to maintain connections with people that don’t try to reach out to me.
I’m simply living every day as the best me that I can, respecting my boundaries, and manifesting my dreams for the future.
The universe always finds a way to bring the right people into your life, but not if you’re off chasing the wrong ones.
So be swift in cutting out all these “filler” people. Protect your sanity and self-respect.
When we start living each day as our most genuine selves with our highest goals in mind, the right people will come to you.
I’m not chasing, I’m attracting.
I’m saving my positive energy for the people that matter.